she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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