I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
