My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize