You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
