you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
my poor anus
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
