So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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