I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
