Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.

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(905): View more from Toronto

Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?

(1-905): View more from Toronto

i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(860): View more from Connecticut

I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

low key just jizzed in a chinese food container

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts

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(586): View more from Michigan

My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.

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(916): View more from California

My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol

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