Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.

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  (248): I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight. http://tfl.nu/uwp5
  Replies (24) Good night (3614) Bad night (1080)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last

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  (352): I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last http://tfl.nu/oknv
  Replies (34) Good night (1439) Bad night (5420)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.

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  (541): I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him. http://tfl.nu/i7hv
  Replies (32) Good night (1004) Bad night (5034)
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  (289): View more from Ontario

  he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went

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  (289): he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went http://tfl.nu/wqc9
  Replies (35) Good night (1014) Bad night (8494)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had

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  (717): They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had http://tfl.nu/qmkc
  Replies (46) Good night (4851) Bad night (1718)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.

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  (502): He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up. http://tfl.nu/onjv
  Replies (12) Good night (1456) Bad night (4113)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing

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  (616): he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing http://tfl.nu/m3tl
  Replies (8) Good night (2215) Bad night (859)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night

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  (314): Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night http://tfl.nu/67n5
  Replies (10) Good night (2753) Bad night (778)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.

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  (217): Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks. http://tfl.nu/w6yk
  Replies (6) Good night (2114) Bad night (839)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.

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  (+61): Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere. http://tfl.nu/z8sw
  Replies (5) Good night (667) Bad night (1216)
• Favorite

  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months

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  (787): Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months http://tfl.nu/wlwj
  Replies (4) Good night (1073) Bad night (438)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(

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  (832): i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :( http://tfl.nu/r8m8
  Replies (5) Good night (450) Bad night (338)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower

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  (603): the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower http://tfl.nu/z3nh
  Replies (1) Good night (665) Bad night (217)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.

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  (315): She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight. http://tfl.nu/lw42
  Replies (7) Good night (226) Bad night (633)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.

  (563): View more from Iowa

  How is that low? I love carrots.

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  (720): I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low. (563): How is that low? I love carrots. http://tfl.nu/c1zp
  Replies (0) Good night (388) Bad night (95)

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