Texts From Last Night

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  (607): View more from New York

  The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.

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  (607): The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you. http://tfl.nu/2p1b
  Replies (8) Good night (4619) Bad night (686)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I intend to get homeless drunk

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  (403): I intend to get homeless drunk http://tfl.nu/9yk9
  Replies (20) Good night (5070) Bad night (1463)
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  (631): View more from New York

  he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality

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  (631): he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality http://tfl.nu/b7nh
  Replies (8) Good night (988) Bad night (2214)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.

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  (801): Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess. http://tfl.nu/8hwd
  Replies (8) Good night (4208) Bad night (1022)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool

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  (401): she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool http://tfl.nu/sz50
  Replies (5) Good night (733) Bad night (1920)
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now

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  (662): I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now http://tfl.nu/5831
  Replies (7) Good night (724) Bad night (1134)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before

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  (480): I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before http://tfl.nu/7hf6
  Replies (12) Good night (900) Bad night (1658)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.

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  (215): it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target. http://tfl.nu/jyhf
  Replies (2) Good night (1117) Bad night (487)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.

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  (506): Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me. http://tfl.nu/xgvx
  Replies (8) Good night (704) Bad night (1262)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?

  (913): View more from Kansas

  Is that weird?

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  (508): We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am? (913): Is that weird? http://tfl.nu/18nc
  Replies (4) Good night (1134) Bad night (519)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun

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  (847): Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun http://tfl.nu/7pg6
  Replies (3) Good night (674) Bad night (529)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat

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  (617): I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat http://tfl.nu/ph0q
  Replies (5) Good night (598) Bad night (348)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.

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  (954): You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one. http://tfl.nu/l0kb
  Replies (4) Good night (372) Bad night (786)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time

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  (954): I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time http://tfl.nu/1q0v
  Replies (1) Good night (519) Bad night (291)
• Favorite

  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.

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  (709): I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home. http://tfl.nu/qku9
  Replies (3) Good night (303) Bad night (197)

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