Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
