Texts From Last Night

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  (516): View more from New York

  U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by

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  (516): U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by http://tfl.nu/oseu
  Replies (4) Good night (2869) Bad night (457)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.

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  (206): I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work. http://tfl.nu/jzpk
  Replies (31) Good night (3607) Bad night (643)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.

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  (204): I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom. http://tfl.nu/0i9y
  Replies (12) Good night (4690) Bad night (580)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'

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  (910): it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!' http://tfl.nu/7tsr
  Replies (24) Good night (10601) Bad night (768)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.

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  (757): I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it. http://tfl.nu/1fpc
  Replies (23) Good night (3481) Bad night (848)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom

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  (608): i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom http://tfl.nu/an7n
  Replies (57) Good night (665) Bad night (5136)
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.

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  (912): This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face. http://tfl.nu/ozn3
  Replies (39) Good night (1466) Bad night (6482)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.

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  (414): Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her. http://tfl.nu/4z7e
  Replies (12) Good night (4585) Bad night (1133)
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  (716): View more from New York

  you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do

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  (716): you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do http://tfl.nu/chus
  Replies (13) Good night (2419) Bad night (860)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.

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  (778): When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back. http://tfl.nu/pu4u
  Replies (18) Good night (4412) Bad night (2100)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.

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  (940): An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese. http://tfl.nu/bzrb
  Replies (7) Good night (3334) Bad night (870)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?

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  (615): Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ? http://tfl.nu/0u6g
  Replies (5) Good night (2105) Bad night (827)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Drunk ass.

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  (715): apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus (651): Drunk ass. http://tfl.nu/f50c
  Replies (3) Good night (523) Bad night (328)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!

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  (630): Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law! http://tfl.nu/y27z
  Replies (1) Good night (581) Bad night (297)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.

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  (208): Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up. http://tfl.nu/qoxa
  Replies (9) Good night (487) Bad night (1041)

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