My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.