Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!

(1-313): View more from Michigan

I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????

(313): View more from Michigan

Honestly.

(313): View more from Michigan

Don't say a word.

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(313) So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays! (1-313) I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol????? (313) Honestly. (313) Don't say a word. http://tfl.nu/wjb7

Replies (7) Good night (1286) Bad night (624)
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(212): View more from New York

we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady

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(212): we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady http://tfl.nu/of3l

Replies (7) Good night (2116) Bad night (674)
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(214): View more from Texas

i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.

(1-214): View more from Texas

oh fuck your right

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(214): i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can. (1-214): oh fuck your right http://tfl.nu/6rmf

Replies (21) Good night (4524) Bad night (978)
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(281): View more from Texas

i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy

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(281): i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy http://tfl.nu/yz4e

Replies (4) Good night (2811) Bad night (795)
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(602): View more from Arizona

she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...

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(602): she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot... http://tfl.nu/ac1u

Replies (6) Good night (3178) Bad night (1260)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.

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(612): This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me. http://tfl.nu/1k6h

Replies (19) Good night (1272) Bad night (3545)
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(417): View more from Missouri

You totally left a blue butt print on our banister

(573): View more from Missouri

Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.

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(417): You totally left a blue butt print on our banister (573): Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time. http://tfl.nu/r57f

Replies (12) Good night (3405) Bad night (1037)
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(351): View more from Massachusetts

the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.

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(351): the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me. http://tfl.nu/s3y3

Replies (5) Good night (4551) Bad night (1398)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.

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(603): Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic. http://tfl.nu/b5pl

Replies (2) Good night (1922) Bad night (654)
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(646): View more from New York

Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.

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(646): Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her. http://tfl.nu/s0ys

Replies (5) Good night (3482) Bad night (818)
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(716): View more from New York

I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.

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(716): I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you. http://tfl.nu/7kt1

Replies (7) Good night (1194) Bad night (573)
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(407): View more from Florida

When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?

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(407): When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad? http://tfl.nu/v8ru

Replies (8) Good night (1588) Bad night (635)
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(310): View more from California

My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.

(1-310): View more from California

That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.

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(310): My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing. (1-310): That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens. http://tfl.nu/xmxh

Replies (14) Good night (2327) Bad night (594)
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(518): View more from New York

THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason

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(518): THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason http://tfl.nu/3zx2

Replies (4) Good night (510) Bad night (791)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome

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(615): Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome http://tfl.nu/3imm

Replies (1) Good night (658) Bad night (208)

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