well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.