I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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