I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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