If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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