The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
