So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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