The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
