did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
