i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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