; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
