Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
