I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
