You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
