since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Randomize
