i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
