Are we in a gay sports bar?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
