In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
