I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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