Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
