On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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