Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
