Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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