Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
