I saw his package. It spoke to me.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
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