this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
