please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
