how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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