I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Randomize
