I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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