Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
