haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
My breasts were aching with rage.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
