let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
