The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Randomize
