i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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