the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
