i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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