Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
