he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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