first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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