Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
