I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Randomize
