id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
