So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
