I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
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