She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
