Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
