Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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