Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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