If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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